By Coach Mervyn Goh — children’s tennis coach at TAG International Tennis Academy (ages 4–12), a multiple-time Singapore Tennis Association Inter-Club A Division doubles champion, psychology-trained educator, and star of MediaCorp’s children’s show Kids at Work. Reviewed by the TAG coaching team.

Sooner or later, almost every tennis parent hears the sentence they were dreading in the car on the way to training: “I don’t want to go anymore.” I have heard it from hundreds of children over the years — and because I coach the youngest players, from ages four to twelve, I have learned not to take it at face value. A child wanting to quit tennis is rarely the end of the story. Far more often it is a signal, and once you understand what it is pointing to, you usually have more options than “force them” or “let them stop.” Here is how I help Singapore parents read that moment and respond to it.

First, Don’t Panic — A Dip Is Normal

A child announcing they want to quit is one of the most normal things in junior sport. Motivation is not a straight line; it dips around school exams, after a tough loss, when a best friend leaves the class, or simply when a child is tired on a hot afternoon. The mistake I see most is a parent treating a single bad-day comment as a final decision — either by panicking and pulling the child out immediately, or by digging in and turning every session into a battle. Neither helps. Before you decide anything, your job is to find out what the comment actually means. A “bad day” dip passes in a week; a deeper loss of motivation has a cause you can usually fix.

Why Children Really Lose Motivation

Sports psychologists have actually mapped this out. In a well-known study, researchers at George Washington University led by Amanda Visek asked young athletes what makes sport fun and identified 81 separate “determinants of fun,” which grouped into 11 broad factors. What surprises many parents is where winning landed: near the very bottom. The things children rated highest were trying hard, being a good sport, and positive, encouraging coaching. In the same research tradition, the single most common reason children give for dropping out of sport is strikingly simple — it stopped being fun.

Motivation researchers describe three things people need to stay genuinely motivated: a sense of autonomy (some say in what they do), competence (a feeling of getting better), and relatedness (friends, belonging, a coach who knows them). When a child suddenly wants to quit, at least one of those three has usually gone missing. In my experience with Singapore juniors, the real reason hiding behind “I want to quit” is almost always one of these:

• It stopped being fun. The sessions became repetitive, too drill-heavy, or too serious too soon.
• They hit a plateau. Progress feels invisible, so the child concludes they are “just not good at it” — a competence problem, not a desire problem.
• Pressure. Sometimes from a well-meaning parent, sometimes self-imposed, sometimes the fear of losing or being watched.
• The social side changed. A friend left the group, or they feel like the odd one out in the class.
• Too much, too soon. A tired, over-scheduled child is not unmotivated — they are overloaded. (My colleague’s guide on early specialisation and burnout digs into this, and our note on how often a child should train helps you sense-check the load.)

The Conversation to Have (and the One to Avoid)

When your child says they want to quit, resist the urge to argue, bargain, or lecture. The conversation that works is a curious one, not a persuasive one. Ask open questions and then actually listen: “What’s the part you like least right now?” “When was the last time tennis felt fun?” “Is it the tennis, or is it something about the class?” You are trying to separate a passing mood from a real, fixable cause. Children often cannot name the reason straight away, so give it time and don’t correct their answers.

The conversation to avoid is the one that attaches guilt or money to the decision — “do you know how much these lessons cost?” or “you’re letting the family down.” That teaches a child that sport is an obligation, which is exactly the feeling that drives the love of the game out of it. Equally, I would gently caution against the opposite reflex of instantly agreeing to stop. A child who learns that announcing “I quit” makes an uncomfortable thing disappear will reach for that lever again — in tennis and elsewhere. The healthy middle is: take the feeling seriously, understand it, and decide together.

What Usually Works — Getting the Joy Back

Once you know the cause, the fix is often small. These are the moves I reach for most with my own young players:

• Reconnect it to fun. For a few sessions, lower the technical intensity and bring back games, points, and laughter. A child who remembers why they loved it will usually re-commit on their own.
• Make progress visible. If the problem is a plateau, a good coach resets to small, winnable targets — ten rallies in a row, a serve that clears the net five times running — so the child feels themselves getting better again.
• Give them a say. Autonomy is powerful. Let them choose the warm-up game, set a personal goal, or pick which stroke to work on. A child who owns a little of the plan fights it far less.
• Fix the social side. Sometimes the answer is simply moving the child into a group class with friends their own age and level, where tennis becomes something they do with people they like.
• Check the challenge level. Too easy is boring; too hard is demoralising. The sweet spot — just hard enough to stretch, easy enough to succeed — is where motivation lives, and it is the single biggest thing a thoughtful coach adjusts.

A change of scene can help too. If a child is burnt out on the grind of tennis drills but still loves hitting a ball, a fun, lower-pressure racquet sport like pickleball can rekindle the sheer enjoyment of play — and the hand-eye skills carry straight back to the tennis court.

When a Break Is the Right Call

Sometimes, after all the listening, the honest answer is that your child genuinely wants to stop — and that is allowed. Not every child is meant to be a competitive tennis player, and a forced junior rarely becomes a lifelong one. If the love simply is not there, a clean, respectful pause is far better than grinding on resentfully. I often suggest a middle path first: a short, defined break — the length of a school holiday, say — rather than a dramatic “quitting forever.” A rested child surprisingly often asks to come back, and you have lost nothing. And if they move on to another sport, that is a win too; the confidence, coordination and discipline tennis built go with them. The goal was never to manufacture a champion. It was to raise a child who learns to love being active.

It is worth remembering that the players who last longest are the ones who kept the joy. Our own Coach Bo Alburo, ranked ITF Men’s 35+ World No. 2, is still competing and winning in his thirties — not because he was pushed hardest as a boy, but because he never stopped loving the game. That is the quality worth protecting in your child, long before any ranking.

How We Keep Juniors Loving the Game at TAG

At TAG International Tennis Academy, keeping children motivated is not an afterthought — it is the whole design of our junior programme. Our coaches are trained to read the warning signs of a dip, to adjust the challenge to each child, and to tell you honestly when your child needs a lighter week rather than a harder one. We would always rather keep a child in the game for ten years than burn them out in two. You can meet the full team on our coaches page, and high-performance juniors train under Coach XT — a tennis coach in Singapore with a national-team coaching background. Across the TAG International network we run programmes island-wide and indoors at Winchester Tennis Arena, so a hot or wet afternoon never has to be the reason a keen child misses out.

If your child’s motivation has dipped and you would like a coach’s honest read on what is really going on, talk to us. Message TAG on WhatsApp at +65 8962 8400, explore our tennis coaching programmes, or read our guide on what age children should start tennis if you are weighing up the right starting point in the first place.

Frequently Asked Questions

My child suddenly wants to quit tennis — is that normal?

Yes, completely. Motivation naturally dips around exams, after a tough loss, when a friend leaves the class, or simply when a child is tired. A one-off “I want to quit” is usually a passing mood rather than a final decision. Stay calm, find out what is really behind it, and give it a week or two before deciding anything.

Should I make my child keep playing tennis if they want to stop?

Forcing a child rarely works and can push the love of the sport out for good. But instantly agreeing to quit is not ideal either. The healthy middle is to take the feeling seriously, understand the cause, and try a short defined break — say, one school holiday — rather than a permanent decision made on a bad day. A rested child often asks to come back.

How do I keep my child motivated in tennis?

Protect the fun, make progress visible with small winnable goals, and give the child some say in their sessions. Research on youth sport consistently finds that trying hard, good sportsmanship and positive coaching matter far more to children than winning. A class with friends at the right challenge level does more for motivation than any amount of pressure.

My child says tennis is boring. What should I do?

“Boring” usually means the sessions have become too repetitive, too hard, or too easy. Talk to the coach about adding more games and points, resetting the challenge to the child’s level, or moving them into a group with friends. If they simply need a change of pace, a fun racquet sport like pickleball can rekindle the enjoyment of play and feed skills back into tennis.

About the author: Coach Mervyn Goh coaches children aged 4–12 at TAG International Tennis Academy, is a multiple-time Singapore Tennis Association Inter-Club A Division doubles champion and a psychology-trained educator, and is best known as the star of MediaCorp’s children’s show Kids at Work. Explore the full TAG coaching team.